1 year, two hours, and three minutes

its surreall to imagine that one year right now my family was changing as i knew it.

one year ago today we lost a precious life... Carter Bryce Eaton

as i look through on his pictures over and over again, i see a vision of sorts.

a little boy, about six years old...with his mothers kind brown eyes, brown hair, and his dad's smile.

i see him approach me and i cry. even in my so called vision.

and he says, "it ok aunt maci. im ok"

maybe im selfish but i want him here.

with us.
with me.
with my sister.
who i know was made to be a mother.

she has that mom chip...more than anyone i have ever met.

why her?

why us?

why him?

how is it fair that so many people have children that they don't treat right and yet my sister is excluded.

i remember last year. and that person that really touched my heart with their tenderness.

so many friends were selfless and caring and showed me their true selves during this awful time....but one person in particular showed me a compassion that no one else could reach...

because no one else knew me on that level.

thank you, you know who you are, and you've changed my life on some many levels...this level just happens to be the closet to my heart.

and my dear Carter,

Thank you for watching out for our family...i wish you were here with us, but i am thank ful to feel your presence around me at all times, i know ill feel your guidnace at pivotal points in my life...and i fully expect you to guide me tot he right decisions for me as they present themselves.