shield

I miss you everyday. mostly everynight...right as i lay down to sleep, my heart auto pilots straight to you.

i wish some how i could replace my missing you with some form of hate. or even dislike.

that would make more sense, given all we've been through...

and yet the beauty in all this pain is that i will never be hurt like this again.

its sad really to think that no one, will ever capture my heart the same way you have....its not a possiblity.  and i suppose thats comforting also...in a off circumstantial way.

ive realized that everyone i've always imagined as  "hard core" or "bad ass"


 have really just been hurt bad before..

and now they are amune to it. this sick all consuming, destroying, beautifully capitvating, most wonderful love....

maybe there comes a point when we all pick up our shield...